The words we choose to use really do shape the type of day we’ll have, the type of life we’ll lead and indeed the type of person we are.
A bold statement yes, with good reason.
Our words are truly powerful things, they’re based on our thoughts which are based on our beliefs. The words and phrases we expose ourselves to conjure up all kind of images –“Just Do It”, “Because I’m worth it” – powerful statements that embed emotion and inspiration.
We communicate with words so frequently and unconsciously. Rarely do we check in with ourselves to make sure we like them. Make sure they’re the words we really want to use. Make sure they’re ‘serving us’ well and supporting us to be who we want to be.
Sometimes we get stuck and hold onto familiar word patterns. They become ingrained in our personal language and we default to them. ‘Can’t, won’t, shouldn’t’ and the always popular, ‘try’ are firm, and usually unwanted favourites.
I had a client who would use the phrase ‘it’s all so hard isn’t it’.
It was a regular phrase that was present in our sessions. I chose to interrupt the pattern and ask, ‘is it?’
A thoughtful silence and a few moments later, we started to get to the root of the statement. A belief that life should be hard, that work is never done and ultimately a belief of ‘not being good enough’.
We focused our efforts, investigating where the belief was born and reshaping it to something much more useful.
The belief was holding my client back, stopping them from feeling and living the possibility and excitement they really wanted.
Powerful change. Isn’t it.
Try this as an exercise:
- Start by noticing the words, statements and phrases you say frequently. Write them down. If you have a close enough friend or partner you trust to ask, see if they will reflect back your ‘default’ statements
- Look at the statement and decide if it’s something useful for you. Is it supporting your life? Does it reflect who you want to be?
- If you find your answer to any of them is no. Re-write what you’d rather have. What would be more advantageous, kinder, braver, more positive. What would be more helpful to you to say? e.g. “No one ever listens to me anyway” re-write to “My words are valuable, I have important things to say, I’m worthy and I’m respected”.
- Notice what’s different (emotionally and physically) as you create your new language pattern and begin to use it.
A little voyage of discovery. Transformational stuff.